Isolation

Living how and where we do is very isolating.

I find myself checking and rechecking my email and facebook many many times a day to see if anyone sent me a note that I can respond to. Otherwise, I'll have very little communication with folks who are outside the confines of Hyaets and the neighborhood.

Kids are knocking at my door right this minute, but sometimes I'd rather just talk to someone my own age who I might better relate to. The neighbor down the street might love a visit from me, but sometimes I'd rather just talk to someone who doesn't need compassion in the way the lonely neighbor might need compassion. Then again, when I do have a conversation with someone my own age, my own social status, etc, I'm left with nothing to say. I can't relate to whatever someone watched on tv cause I don't really watch tv and I can't talk about the newest store or restaurant or movie because I don't go a whole lot of places or spend much money.

I long for an intimate friendship, someone I could do things with and talk to about whatever's going through my mind, but how is that possible? Everyone who looks like me, is educated like me, believes in several of the things I believe in lives on the other side of town in suburbia and is content with mommy play dates and running errands.

On the flip side, I sure would like someone to ask me to join a mommy play date or run errands with them!

Or would I? Would it involve conversations about potty training and trips to the Walmart? I'm not so sure I can handle too much of that.

But I've chosen a different lifestyle, followed what I thought was a deep sense of calling. Is it possible to follow this sense of call and have friends at the same time? If so, how? Who?

Virtual email friends and facebook friends are not enough to sustain me.