update

I want to get things done, but I'm exhausted.
I want to make things, but I'm in a rut.
My feet hurt, I need new shoes. I can't find the time to go to the store. I can't convince myself to spend the money.
I had to replace my new phone with another. I don't want to re-input all the info, apps, and good stuff. But now that I've become dependent on the phone, I need some of that stuff. (lists, contacts, email)
I need to exercise, lose weight. I'm not interested.
I want a free weekend-free space-free time-free house, one without children, without responsibilities, without accountability. Not for long. Just long enough. Not really possible.
I'm not in a bluesy place or a sad place. I almost feel lazy with a side of heavy.
We're supposed to get a two week break from Hyaets, but others are heaping responsibilities onto my plate. I'm full, people, I'm full. And looking at you as you're working hard and taking on more and more only serves to make me feel guilty and heavier.
We eat communally, we pray communally, we discern communally. Can't we rest communally too?