all I wanna do....

Right now, I want to snap and make my house come a live with inspiration. I want the house to be beautiful and to smell good and I want sounds of birds singing. I want this to happen in a way that is ethical, economical, and ecological. And that's where the dream gets stopped.

I want to be able to spend time, money, resources on beauty and inspiration so that then I could be daily inspired by the things around me. Inspired to write, paint, take pictures, sing, stretch, exercise.

But to make a home look nice, one must have money. To make a home visually inspiring, one must use time and stuff and one must spend time making things look "pretty" and take time away from caring for other people and earning money to support the household.

So, I look at fabulous blogs like etsy, and Decor8 and Kelly Rae Roberts and I dream of a nice place with nice people and inspiration so that I would want to write and dream some more, but....

instead I pick up other people's messes constantly, I check my email hoping for someone to write, I run errands, I chase a baby, I drive to campus, I talk to people, I drive people around, I think about writing, I consider cooking, I think about painting, I think about making things look pretty, I put out relationship fires, I water the garden, I sweep the floors, I sweep the floors again, I do laundry, and I spend my time wishing.

I'm feeling stuck. again